22. Abandonment
قَالَ فِي بَيْعٍ أَوْ عَطَاءٍ أَعْطَتْهُ عَائِشَةُ وَاللَّهِ لَتَنْتَهِيَنَّ عَائِشَةُ أَوْ لَأَحْجُرَنَّ عَلَيْهَا فَقَالَتْ أَهُوَ قَالَ هَذَا؟ قَالُوا نَعَمْ قَالَتْ عَائِشَةُ فَهُوَ لِلَّهِ نَذْرٌ أَنْ لاَ أُكَلِّمَ ابْنَ الزُّبَيْرِ كَلِمَةً أَبَدًا فَاسْتَشْفَعَ ابْنُ الزُّبَيْرِ بِالْمُهَاجِرِينَ حِينَ طَالَتْ هِجْرَتُهَا إِيَّاهُ فَقَالَتْ وَاللَّهِ لاَ أُشَفِّعُ فِيهِ أَحَدًا أَبَدًا وَلاَ أُحَنِّثُ نَذْرِي الَّذِي نَذَرْتُ أَبَدًا فَلَمَّا طَالَ عَلَى ابْنِ الزُّبَيْرِ كَلَّمَ الْمِسْوَرَ بْنَ مَخْرَمَةَ وَعَبْدَ الرَّحْمَنِ بْنَ الأَسْوَدِ بْنِ يَغُوثَ وَهُمَا مِنْ بَنِي زُهْرَةَ فَقَالَ لَهُمَا أَنْشُدُكُمَا بِاللَّهِ إِلاَّ أَدْخَلْتُمَانِي عَلَى عَائِشَةَ فَإِنَّهَا لاَ يَحِلُّ لَهَا أَنْ تَنْذِرَ قَطِيعَتِي فَأَقْبَلَ بِهِ الْمِسْوَرُ وَعَبْدُ الرَّحْمَنِ مُشْتَمِلَيْنِ عَلَيْهِ بِأَرْدِيَتِهِمَا حَتَّى اسْتَأْذَنَا عَلَى عَائِشَةَ فَقَالاَ السَّلاَمُ عَلَيْكِ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ أَنَدْخُلُ؟ فَقَالَتْ عَائِشَةُ ادْخُلُوا قَالاَ كُلُّنَا يَا أُمَّ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ؟ قَالَتْ نَعَمْ ادْخُلُوا كُلُّكُمْ وَلاَ تَعْلَمُ عَائِشَةُ أَنَّ مَعَهُمَا ابْنَ الزُّبَيْرِ فَلَمَّا دَخَلُوا دَخَلَ ابْنُ الزُّبَيْرِ فِي الْحِجَابِ وَاعْتَنَقَ عَائِشَةَ وَطَفِقَ يُنَاشِدُهَا يَبْكِي وَطَفِقَ الْمِسْوَرُ وَعَبْدُ الرَّحْمَنِ يُنَاشِدَانِ عَائِشَةَ إِلاَّ كَلَّمَتْهُ وَقَبِلَتْ مِنْهُ وَيَقُولاَنِ قَدْ عَلِمْتِ أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللهِ ﷺ نَهَى عَمَّا قَدْ عَلِمْتِ مِنَ الْهِجْرَةِ وَأَنَّهُ لاَ يَحِلُّ لِلرَّجُلِ أَنْ يَهْجُرَ أَخَاهُ فَوْقَ ثَلاَثِ لَيَالٍ قَالَ فَلَمَّا أَكْثَرُوا التَّذْكِيرَ وَالتَّحْرِيجَ طَفِقَتْ تُذَكِّرُهُمْ وَتَبْكِي وَتَقُولُ إِنِّي قَدْ نَذَرْتُ وَالنَّذْرُ شَدِيدٌ فَلَمْ يَزَالُوا بِهَا حَتَّى كَلَّمَتِ ابْنَ الزُّبَيْرِ ثُمَّ أَعْتَقَتْ بِنَذْرِهَا أَرْبَعِينَ رَقَبَةً ثُمَّ كَانَتْ تَذْكُرُ بَعْدَ مَا أَعْتَقَتْ أَرْبَعِينَ رَقَبَةً فَتَبْكِي حَتَّى تَبُلَّ دُمُوعُهَا خِمَارَهَا
"By Allah I will not ever accept the intercession of anyone for him, and I will not ever break my vow that I have vowed." When it went on long for Ibn Az-Zubair, he spoke to Al-Miswar bin Makhramah and 'Abdur-Rahman bin Al-Aswad bin Yaghut and they were from Bani Zuhrah. So he said to them: "I beseech you in the Name of Allah that you enter me upon (the place of) 'Aishah because it is unlawful for her to vow to sever relations with me." So Al-Miswar and 'Abdur-Rahman approached with him under their upper garments until they sought her permission, saying: "As-salamu 'alaiki wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu! Shall we come in?" 'Aishah (May Allah be pleased with her) said: "Come in," They asked: "All of us, o mother of the believers?" She said: "Yes all of you," and she did know that Ibn Az-Zubair was with them. So, when they entered, Ibn Az-Zubair entered the screened place and hugged 'Aishah (May Allah be pleased with her) and began beseeching her and wept. And Al-Miswar and 'Abdur-Rahman began to plead her to but speak to him and to accept from him, also saying to her: "You know that the Messenger Allah ﷺ forbade what you know of abandonment and that it is not permissible for a man to abandon his brother over three nights." He said: So when they did a great deal of reminding and urging, she began remind them and weep, saying: "I have made a vow which is a matter of very serious nature." They persisted in their appeal till she spoke with 'Abdullah bin Az-Zubair. Then she freed forty slaves as an expiation for breaking her vow. Later on she would remember, after freeing forty slaves, then she would weep so much that her veil would become wet with tears.
أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللهِ ﷺ قَالَ لاَ تَبَاغَضُوا وَلاَ تَحَاسَدُوا وَلاَ تَدَابَرُوا وَكُونُوا عِبَادَ اللهِ إِخْوَانًا وَلاَ يَحِلُّ لِمُسْلِمٍ أَنْ يَهْجُرَ أَخَاهُ فَوْقَ ثَلاَثِ لَيَالٍ
✧ The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: “Do not hate one another, do not envy one another, do not turn your backs on one another. Be servants of Allah as brothers. It is not lawful for a Muslim to abandon his brother for more than three nights.”
أَنَّ أَبَا أَيُّوبَ صَاحِبَ رَسُولِ اللهِ ﷺ أَخْبَرَهُ أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللهِ ﷺ قَالَ لاَ يَحِلُّ لأَحَدٍ أَنْ يَهْجُرَ أَخَاهُ فَوْقَ ثَلاَثِ لَيَالٍ يَلْتَقِيَانِ فَيَصُدُّ هَذَا وَيَصُدُّ هَذَا وَخَيْرُهُمَا الَّذِي يَبْدَأُ بِالسَّلامِ
✧ Abū Ayyūb, the companion of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ, informed him that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: “It is not lawful for anyone to abandon his brother for more than three nights, such that when they meet, this one turns away and that one turns away. The better of the two is the one who initiates the greeting of peace.”
عَنِ النَّبِيِّ ﷺ قَالَ لاَ تَبَاغَضُوا وَلاَ تَنَافَسُوا وَكُونُوا عِبَادَ اللهِ إِخْوَانًا
✧ From the Prophet ﷺ, who said: Do not hate one another, and do not contend with one another. Be, O servants of Allah, brothers.
أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللهِ ﷺ قَالَ مَا تَوَادَّ اثْنَانِ فِي اللهِ جَلَّ وَعَزَّ أَوْ فِي الإِسْلاَمِ فَيُفَرِّقُ بَيْنَهُمَا إِلاَّ بِذَنْبٍ يُحْدِثُهُ أَحَدُهُمَا
✧ The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: No two people love each other for the sake of Allah, Mighty and Majestic, or in Islam, and then become separated, except because of a sin that one of them commits.
أَنَّهُ سَمِعَ رَسُولَ اللهِ ﷺ قَالَ لاَ يَحِلُّ لِمُسْلِمٍ أَنْ يُصَارِمَ مُسْلِمًا فَوْقَ ثَلاَثٍ فَإِنَّهُمَا نَاكِبَانِ عَنِ الْحَقِّ مَا دَامَا عَلَى صِرَامِهِمَا وَإِنَّ أَوَّلَهُمَا فَيْئًا يَكُونُ كَفَّارَةً عَنْهُ سَبْقُهُ بِالْفَيْءِ وَإِنْ مَاتَا عَلَى صِرَامِهِمَا لَمْ يَدْخُلاَ الْجَنَّةَ جَمِيعًا أَبَدًا وَإِنْ سَلَّمَ عَلَيْهِ فَأَبَى أَنْ يَقْبَلَ تَسْلِيمَهُ وَسَلاَمَهُ رَدَّ عَلَيْهِ الْمَلَكُ وَرَدَّ عَلَى الْآخَرِ الشَّيْطَانُ
✧ He heard the Messenger of Allah ﷺ say: It is not lawful for a Muslim to abandon his brother for more than three days. They are deviating from the truth as long as they are in a state of abandonment. The first of them to return to reconciliation will have that preceding him as an expiation. If they both die while still estranged, they will never enter the Garden together. If he greets him with salam and the other refuses to accept his greeting, the angel returns it to him, and the devil returns it to the other.
قَالَ رَسُولُ اللهِ ﷺ إِنِّي لَأَعْرِفُ غَضَبَكِ وَرِضَاكِ قَالَتْ قُلْتُ وَكَيْفَ تَعْرِفُ ذَلِكَ يَا رَسُولَ اللهِ؟ قَالَ إِنَّكِ إِذَا كُنْتِ رَاضِيَةً قُلْتِ بَلَى وَرَبِّ مُحَمَّدٍ وَإِذَا كُنْتِ سَاخِطَةً قُلْتِ لاَ وَرَبِّ إِبْرَاهِيمَ قَالَتْ قُلْتُ أَجَلْ لَسْتُ أُهَاجِرُ إِلا اسْمَكَ
'A'isha mentioned that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ told her, "I can see you when you are angry or pleased." She asked, "How do you see that, Messenger of Allah?" He replied, "When you are pleased, you say, 'Yes, by the Lord of Muhammad.' But when you are angry, you say, 'No, by the Lord of Ibrahim.'" She said that she replied, "Yes, I only cut out your name."
أَنَّهُ سَمِعَ رَسُولَ اللهِ ﷺ يَقُولُ مَنْ هَجَرَ أَخَاهُ سَنَةً فَهُوَ كَسَفْكِ دَمِهِ
✧ He heard the Messenger of Allah ﷺ say: Whoever forsakes his brother for a year, it is as if he has shed his blood.
حَدَّثَهُ أَنَّ رَجُلاً مِنْ أَسْلَمَ مِنْ أَصْحَابِ النَّبِيِّ ﷺ حَدَّثَهُ عَنِ النَّبِيِّ ﷺ قَالَ هِجْرَةُ الْمُسْلِمِ سَنَةً كَدَمِهِ وَفِي الْمَجْلِسِ مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ الْمُنْكَدِرِ وَعَبْدُ اللهِ بْنُ أَبِي عَتَّابٍ فَقَالاَ قَدْ سَمِعْنَا هَذَا عَنْهُ
✧ He reported that a man from the tribe of Aslam, one of the Companions of the Prophet ﷺ, narrated from the Prophet ﷺ: Forsaking a Muslim for a year is like shedding his blood. In the gathering were Muhammad b. al-Munkadir and ʿAbdullah b. Abī ʿAttāb, and they said, "We heard this from him."
أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللهِ ﷺ قَالَ لاَ يَحِلُّ لِمُسْلِمٍ أَنْ يَهْجُرَ أَخَاهُ فَوْقَ ثَلاَثَةِ أَيَّامٍ يَلْتَقِيَانِ فَيُعْرِضُ هَذَا وَيُعْرِضُ هَذَا وَخَيْرُهُمَا الَّذِي يَبْدَأُ بِالسَّلامِ
✧ The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: It is not lawful for a Muslim to forsake his brother for more than three days. They meet, and this one turns away and that one turns away. The better of the two is the one who initiates the greeting.
سَمِعْتُ رَسُولَ اللهِ ﷺ يَقُولُ لاَ يَحِلُّ لِمُسْلِمٍ أَنْ يُصَارِمَ مُسْلِمًا فَوْقَ ثَلاَثِ لَيَالٍ فَإِنَّهُمَا مَا صَارَمَا فَوْقَ ثَلاَثِ لَيَالٍ فَإِنَّهُمَا نَاكِبَانِ عَنِ الْحَقِّ مَا دَامَا عَلَى صِرَامِهِمَا وَإِنَّ أَوَّلَهُمَا فَيْئًا يَكُونُ كَفَّارَةً لَهُ سَبْقُهُ بِالْفَيْءِ وَإِنْ هُمَا مَاتَا عَلَى صِرَامِهِمَا لَمْ يَدْخُلاَ الْجَنَّةَ جَمِيعًا
✧ I heard the Messenger of Allah ﷺ say: It is not lawful for a Muslim to abandon another Muslim for more than three nights. As long as they are estranged for more than three nights, they are deviating from the truth. The first of them to return to reconciliation will have that preceding him as an expiation. If they both die while estranged, they will not enter the Garden together.
قَالَ رَسُولُ اللهِ ﷺ لاَ تَبَاغَضُوا وَلاَ تَحَاسَدُوا وَكُونُوا عِبَادَ اللهِ إِخْوَانًا
✧ The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: Do not hate one another, and do not envy one another. Be, O servants of Allah, brothers.
عَنِ النَّبِيِّ ﷺ قَالَ تَجِدُ مِنْ شَرِّ النَّاسِ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ عِنْدَ اللهِ ذَا الْوَجْهَيْنِ الَّذِي يَأْتِي هَؤُلاَءِ بِوَجْهٍ وَهَؤُلاَءِ بِوَجْهٍ
✧ From the Prophet ﷺ, who said: Among the worst of people in the sight of Allah on the Day of Resurrection is the two-faced one, who comes to these with one face and to those with another.
قَالَ رَسُولُ اللهِ ﷺ إِيَّاكُمْ وَ الظَّنَّ فَإِنَّ الظَّنَّ أَكْذَبُ الْحَدِيثِ وَلاَ تَنَاجَشُوا وَلاَ تَحَاسَدُوا وَلاَ تَبَاغَضُوا وَلاَ تَنَافَسُوا وَلاَ تَدَابَرُوا وَكُونُوا عِبَادَ اللهِ إِخْوَانًا
✧ The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: Beware of suspicion, for suspicion is the most false of speech. Do not bid against one another to raise the price, do not envy one another, do not hate one another, do not contend with one another, and do not turn your backs on one another. Be, O servants of Allah, brothers.
أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللهِ ﷺ قَالَ تُفْتَحُ أَبْوَابُ الْجَنَّةِ يَوْمَ الِاثْنَيْنِ وَيَوْمَ الْخَمِيسِ فَيُغْفَرُ لِكُلِّ عَبْدٍ لاَ يُشْرِكُ بِاللَّهِ شَيْئًا إِلاَّ رَجُلٌ كَانَتْ بَيْنَهُ وَبَيْنَ أَخِيهِ شَحْنَاءُ فَيُقَالُ أَنْظِرُوا هَذَيْنِ حَتَّى يَصْطَلِحَا
✧ The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: The gates of the Garden are opened on Monday and Thursday, and every servant who does not associate anything with Allah is forgiven, except a man who has enmity between himself and his brother. It is said, "Wait for these two until they reconcile."
أَنَّهُ سَمِعَ أَبَا الدَّرْدَاءِ يَقُولُ أَلاَ أُحَدِّثُكُمْ بِمَا هُوَ خَيْرٌ لَكُمْ مِنَ الصَّدَقَةِ وَالصِّيَامِ؟ صَلاَحُ ذَاتِ الْبَيْنِ أَلاَ وَإِنَّ الْبُغْضَةَ هِيَ الْحَالِقَةُ
✧ He heard Abū al-Dardāʾ say: Shall I not tell you what is better for you than charity and fasting? Reconciling between people. Indeed, hatred is the shearer.
عَنِ النَّبِيِّ ﷺ قَالَ ثَلاَثٌ مَنْ لَمْ يَكُنَّ فِيهِ غُفِرَ لَهُ مَا سِوَاهُ لِمَنْ شَاءَ مَنْ مَاتَ لاَ يُشْرِكُ بِاللَّهِ شَيْئًا وَلَمْ يَكُنْ سَاحِرًا يَتَّبِعُ السَّحَرَةَ وَلَمْ يَحْقِدْ عَلَى أَخِيهِ
✧ From the Prophet ﷺ, who said: "Three things: whoever does not have them, whatever else he has is forgiven to whomever Allah wills: the one who dies without associating anything with Allah, and was not a sorcerer following sorcerers, and did not bear malice against his brother."
سَمِعْتُ النَّبِيَّ ﷺ يَقُولُ لاَ يَحِلُّ لِرَجُلٍ أَنْ يَهْجُرَ مُؤْمِنًا فَوْقَ ثَلاَثَةِ أَيَّامٍ فَإِذَا مَرَّتْ ثَلاَثَةُ أَيَّامٍ فَلْيَلْقَهُ فَلْيُسَلِّمْ عَلَيْهِ فَإِنْ رَدَّ عَلَيْهِ السَّلاَمَ فَقَدِ اشْتَرَكَا فِي الأَجْرِ وَإِنْ لَمْ يَرُدَّ عَلَيْهِ فَقَدْ بَرِئ الْمُسْلِمُ مِنَ الْهِجْرَةِ
✧ I heard the Prophet ﷺ say: "It is not lawful for a man to shun a believer for more than three days. When three days have passed, he should meet him and greet him with salam. If he returns the salam, then they both share in the reward; and if he does not return it, then the Muslim is free from the shunning."