al-Sunan al-Kubra (al-Nasa'i) 9164
✧ If a man cannot find what he spends on his wife, should he let his wife choose?
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أَخْبَرَنَا سُلَيْمَانُ بْنُ عُبَيْدِ اللهِ بْنِ عَمْرٍو كَتَبْنَا عَنْهُ بِالْبَصْرَةِ قَالَ حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو عَامِرٍ عَبْدُ الْمَلِكِ بْنُ عَمْرٍو قَالَ حَدَّثَنَا زَكَرِيَّا بْنُ إِسْحَاقَ عَنْ أَبِي الزُّبَيْرِ عَنْ جَابِرِ بْنِ عَبْدِ اللهِ قَالَ
أَقْبَلَ أَبُو بَكْرٍ يَسْتَأْذِنُ عَلَى النَّبِيِّ ﷺ وَالنَّاسُ بِبَابِهِ جُلُوسٌ فَلَمْ يُؤْذَنْ لَهُ ثُمَّ أَقْبَلَ عُمَرُ فَاسْتَأْذَنَ فَلَمْ يُؤْذَنْ لَهُ فَجَلَسَ ثُمَّ أَذِنَ لِأَبِي بَكْرٍ وَعُمَرَ فَدَخَلَا وَالنَّبِيُّ ﷺ جَالِسٌ وَحَوْلَهُ نِسَاؤُهُ وَهُوَ سَاكِتٌ وَاجِمٌ قَالَ عُمَرُ «لَأُكَلِّمَنَّ النَّبِيَّ ﷺ لَعَلَّهُ أَنْ يَضْحَكَ» قَالَ عُمَرُ يَا رَسُولَ اللهِ لَوْ رَأَيْتَ ابْنَةَ زَيْدٍ امْرَأَةَ عُمَرَ سَأَلَتْنِي النَّفَقَةَ آنِفًا فَوَجَأْتُ عُنُقَهَا فَضَحِكَ النَّبِيُّ ﷺ حَتَّى بَدَتْ نَوَاجِذُهُ قَالَ «هُنَّ حَوْلِي كَمَا تَرَى يَسْأَلْنَنِي النَّفَقَةَ» فَقَامَ أَبُو بَكْرٍ إِلَى عَائِشَةَ لِيَضْرِبَهَا وَقَامَ عُمَرُ إِلَى حَفْصَةَ كِلَاهُمَا يَقُولُ تَسْأَلَانِ رَسُولَ اللهِ ﷺ مَا لَيْسَ عِنْدَهُ فَنَهَاهُمَا رَسُولُ اللهِ ﷺ فَقُلْنَ نِسَاؤُهُ وَاللهِ لَا نَسْأَلُ رَسُولَ اللهِ ﷺ بَعْدَ هَذَا الْمَجْلِسِ مَا لَيْسَ عِنْدَهُ فَأَنْزَلَ اللهُ تَعَالَى الْخِيَارُ فَبَدَأَ بِعَائِشَةَ فَقَالَ «إِنِّي أُرِيدُ أَنْ أَذْكُرَ لَكِ شَيْئًا لَا أُحِبُّ أَنْ تَعْجَلِي فِيهِ حَتَّى تَسْتَأْمِرِي أَبَوَيْكِ» قَالَتْ وَمَا هُوَ يَا رَسُولَ اللهِ فَتَلَا عَلَيْهَا {يَا أَيُّهَا النَّبِيُّ قُلْ لِأَزْوَاجِكَ إِنْ كُنْتُنَّ تُرِدْنَ الْحَيَاةَ الدُّنْيَا وَزِينَتِهَا فَتَعَالَيْنَ أُمَتِّعْكُنَّ} [الأحزاب 28] قَالَتْ عَائِشَةُ «أَفِيكَ أَسْتَأْمِرُ أَبَوَيَّ؟ بَلْ أَخْتَارُ اللهَ وَرَسُولَهُ وَالدَّارَ الْآخِرَةَ وَأَسْأَلُكَ أَنْ لَا تَذْكُرَ لِامْرَأَةٍ مِنْ نِسَائِكَ مَا اخْتَرْتُ» فَقَالَ رَسُولُ اللهِ ﷺ «إِنَّ اللهَ لَمْ يَبْعَثْنِي مُعَنِّفًا وَلَكِنْ مُعَلِّمًا مُبَشِّرًا لَا تَسْأَلُنِي امْرَأَةٌ مِنْهُنَّ عَمَّا اخْتَرْتِ إِلَّا أَخْبَرْتُهَا»
Translation
Chain of narrators
- Sulaymān b. ʿUbaydullāh b. ʿAmr Katab.ā
- h Bi-al-Baṣrah
- Abū ʿĀmir ʿAbd al-Malik b. ʿAmr
- Zakariyyā b. Isḥāq
- Abū al-Zubayr
- Jābir b. ʿAbdullāh
✧ Abu Bakr came seeking permission to enter upon the Prophet ﷺ while people were sitting at his door, and he was not granted permission. Then Umar came and sought permission, and he was not granted permission, so he sat down. Then permission was granted to Abu Bakr and Umar, and they entered while the Prophet ﷺ was sitting with his wives around him, silent and gloomy. Umar said: 'I will speak to the Prophet ﷺ so that perhaps he may laugh.' Umar said: 'O Messenger of Allah, if you had seen the daughter of Zaid, Umar's wife, she asked me for maintenance just now, and I struck her neck.' The Prophet ﷺ laughed until his molars showed, and said: 'They are around me as you see, asking me for maintenance.' Abu Bakr stood up to Aisha to strike her, and Umar stood up to Hafsa, both saying: 'You ask the Messenger of Allah ﷺ for what he does not have?' The Messenger of Allah ﷺ forbade them, and his wives said: 'By Allah, we will never ask the Messenger of Allah ﷺ after this gathering for what he does not have.' Then Allah the Exalted revealed the choice, and He began with Aisha, saying: 'I want to mention something to you, and I do not want you to hasten in it until you consult your parents.' She said: 'What is it, O Messenger of Allah?' He recited to her: {O Prophet, say to your wives: If you desire the life of this world and its adornment, then come, I will provide for you} [Al-Ahzab 28]. Aisha said: 'Should I consult my parents about you? Rather I choose Allah and His Messenger and the Abode of the Hereafter, and I ask you not to mention to any of your wives what I have chosen.' The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: 'Allah did not send me as a harsh rebuker, but as a teacher and a bringer of glad tidings. No woman among them will ask me about what you chose except that I will tell her.'
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No grade is recorded for this wording.