Sirat Ibn Hisham 1498
Kaʿb's account of his staying behind
[ حَدِيثُ كَعْبٍ عَنْ تَخَلُّفِهِ ] قَالَ ابْنُ إسْحَاقَ: فَذَكَرَ الزُّهْرِيُّ مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ مُسْلِمِ بْنِ شِهَابٍ، عَنْ عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ بْنِ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ كَعْبِ بْنِ مَالِكٍ: أَنَّ أَبَاهُ عَبْدَ اللَّهِ، وَكَانَ قَائِدَ أَبِيهِ حِينَ أُصِيبَ بَصَرُهُ، قَالَ: سَمِعْتُ أَبِي كَعْبُ بْنُ مَالِكٍ يُحَدِّثُ حَدِيثَهُ حِينَ تَخَلَّفَ عَنْ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ ﷺ فِي غَزْوَةِ تَبُوكَ، وَحَدِيثَ صَاحِبَيْهِ، قَالَ: مَا تَخَلَّفْتُ عَنْ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ ﷺ فِي غَزْوَةٍ غَزَاهَا قَطُّ، غَيْرَ أَنِّي كُنْتُ قَدْ تَخَلَّفْتُ عَنْهُ فِي غَزْوَةِ بَدْرٍ، وَكَانَتْ غَزْوَةً لَمْ يُعَاتِبْ اللَّهُ وَلَا رَسُولُهُ أَحَدًا تَخَلَّفَ عَنْهَا، وَذَلِكَ أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ ﷺ إنَّمَا خَرَجَ يُرِيدُ عِيرَ قُرَيْشٍ، حَتَّى جَمَعَ اللَّهُ بَيْنَهُ وَبَيْنَ عَدُوِّهِ عَلَى غَيْرِ مِيعَادٍ، وَلَقَدْ شَهِدْتُ مَعَ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ ﷺ الْعَقَبَةَ، وَحِينَ تَوَاثَقْنَا عَلَى الْإِسْلَامِ، وَمَا أُحِبُّ أَنَّ لِي بِهَا مَشْهَدَ بَدْرٍ، وَإِنْ كَانَتْ غَزْوَةُ بَدْرٍ هِيَ أَذْكَرُ فِي النَّاسِ مِنْهَا. قَالَ: كَانَ مِنْ خَبَرِي حِينَ تَخَلَّفْتُ عَنْ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ ﷺ فِي غَزْوَةِ تَبُوكَ أَنِّي لَمْ أَكُنْ قَطُّ أَقْوَى وَلَا أَيْسَرَ مِنِّي حِينَ تَخَلَّفْتُ عَنْهُ فِي تِلْكَ الْغَزْوَةِ، وَوَاللَّهِ مَا اجْتَمَعَتْ لِي رَاحِلَتَانِ قَطُّ حَتَّى اجْتَمَعَتَا فِي تِلْكَ الْغَزْوَةِ، وَكَانَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ﷺ قَلَّمَا يُرِيدُ غَزْوَةً يَغْزُوهَا إلَّا وَرَّى بِغَيْرِهَا، حَتَّى كَانَتْ تِلْكَ الْغَزْوَةُ، فَغَزَاهَا رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ﷺ فِي حَرٍّ شَدِيدٍ، وَاسْتَقْبَلَ سَفَرًا بَعِيدًا، وَاسْتَقْبَلَ غَزْوَ عَدُوٍّ كَثِيرٍ، فَجَلَّى لِلنَّاسِ أَمْرَهُمْ لِيَتَأَهَّبُوا لِذَلِكَ أُهْبَتَهُ وَأَخْبَرَهُمْ خَبَرَهُ بِوَجْهِهِ الَّذِي يُرِيدُ، وَالْمُسْلِمُونَ مَنْ تَبِعَ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ ﷺ كَثِيرٌ، لَا يَجْمَعُهُمْ كِتَابٌ حَافِظٌ، يَعْنِي بِذَلِكَ الدِّيوَانَ، يَقُولُ: لَا يَجْمَعُهُمْ دِيوَانٌ مَكْتُوبٌ. قَالَ كَعْبٌ: فَقَلَّ رَجُلٌ يُرِيدُ أَنْ يَتَغَيَّبَ إلَّا ظَنَّ أَنَّهُ سَيَخْفَى لَهُ ذَلِكَ، مَا لَمْ يَنْزِلْ فِيهِ وَحَيٌّ مِنْ اللَّهِ، وَغَزَا رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ﷺ تِلْكَ الْغَزْوَةِ حِينَ طَابَتْ الثِّمَارُ وَأُحِبَّتْ الظِّلَالُ، فَالنَّاسُ إلَيْهَا صُعْرٌ؛ فَتَجَهَّزَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ﷺ، وَتَجَهَّزَ الْمُسْلِمُونَ مَعَهُ، وَجَعَلْتُ أَغْدُو لِأَتَجَهَّزَ مَعَهُمْ، فَأَرْجِعُ وَلَمْ أَقْضِ حَاجَةً، فَأَقُولُ فِي نَفْسِي، أَنَا قَادِرٌ عَلَى ذَلِكَ إذَا أَرَدْتُ، فَلَمْ يَزَلْ ذَلِكَ يَتَمَادَى بِي حَتَّى شَمَّرَ النَّاسُ بِالْجَدِّ، فَأَصْبَحَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ﷺ غَادِيًا، وَالْمُسْلِمُونَ مَعَهُ، وَلَمْ أَقْضِ مِنْ جَهَازِي شَيْئًا، فَقُلْتُ: أَتَجَهَّزُ بَعْدَهُ بِيَوْمِ أَوْ يَوْمَيْنِ، ثُمَّ أَلْحَقُ بِهِمْ، فَغَدَوْتُ بَعْدَ أَنْ فَصَلُوا لِأَتَجَهَّزَ، فَرَجَعْتُ وَلَمْ أَقْضِ شَيْئًا، ثُمَّ غَدَوْتُ فَرَجَعْتُ وَلَمْ أَقْضِ شَيْئًا، فَلَمْ يَزَلْ ذَلِكَ يَتَمَادَى بِي حَتَّى أَسْرَعُوا، وَتَفَرَّطَ الْغَزْوُ، فَهَمَمْتُ أَنْ أَرْتَحِلَ، فَأُدْرِكُهُمْ، وَلَيْتَنِي فَعَلْتُ، فَلَمْ أَفْعَلْ، وَجَعَلْتُ إذَا خَرَجْتُ فِي النَّاسِ بَعْدَ خُرُوجِ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ ﷺ، فَطُفْتُ فِيهِمْ، يَحْزُنُنِي أَنِّي لَا أَرَى إلَّا رَجُلًا مَغْمُوصًا عَلَيْهِ فِي النِّفَاقِ، أَوْ رَجُلًا مِمَّنْ عَذَرَ اللَّهُ مِنْ الضُّعَفَاءِ، وَلَمْ يَذْكُرنِي رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ﷺ حَتَّى بَلَغَ تَبُوكَ، فَقَالَ وَهُوَ جَالِسٌ فِي الْقَوْمِ بِتَبُوكَ: مَا فَعَلَ كَعْبُ بْنُ مَالِكٍ ؟ فَقَالَ رَجُلٌ مِنْ بَنِي سَلِمَةَ: يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ، حَبَسَهُ بُرْدَاهُ، وَالنَّظَرُ فِي عِطْفَيْهِ؛ فَقَالَ لَهُ مُعَاذُ بْنُ جَبَلٍ: بِئْسَ مَا قُلْتُ وَاَللَّهِ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ مَا عَلِمْنَا مِنْهُ إلَّا خَيْرًا، فَسَكَتَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ﷺ. فَلَمَّا بَلَغَنِي أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ ﷺ قَدْ تَوَجَّهَ قَافِلًا مِنْ تَبُوكَ، حَضَرَنِي بَثِّي، فَجَعَلْتُ أَتَذَكَّرُ الْكَذِبَ وَأَقُولُ: بِمَاذَا أَخْرُجُ مِنْ سَخْطَةِ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ ﷺ غَدًا وَأَسْتَعِينُ عَلَى ذَلِكَ كُلَّ ذِي رَأْيٍ مِنْ أَهْلِي؛ فَلَمَّا قِيلَ إنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ ﷺ قَدْ أَظَلَّ قَادِمًا زَاحَ عَنِّي الْبَاطِلُ، وَعَرَفْتُ أَنِّي لَا أَنْجُو مِنْهُ إلَّا بِالصِّدْقِ، فَأَجْمَعْتُ أَنْ أَصْدُقَهُ، وَصَبَّحَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ﷺ الْمَدِينَةَ، وَكَانَ إذَا قَدِمَ مِنْ سَفَرٍ بَدَأَ بِالْمَسْجِدِ، فَرَكَعَ فِيهِ رَكْعَتَيْنِ، ثُمَّ جَلَسَ لِلنَّاسِ، فَلَمَّا فَعَلَ ذَلِكَ، جَاءَهُ الْمُخَلِّفُونَ، فَجَعَلُوا يَحْلِفُونَ لَهُ وَيَعْتَذِرُونَ، وَكَانُوا بِضْعَةً وَثَمَانِينَ رَجُلًا، فَيَقْبَلُ مِنْهُمْ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ﷺ عَلَانِيَتَهُمْ وَأَيْمَانَهُمْ، وَيَسْتَغْفِرُ لَهُمْ، وَيَكِلُ سَرَائِرَهُمْ إلَى اللَّهِ تَعَالَى، حَتَّى جِئْتُ فَسَلَّمْتُ عَلَيْهِ، فَتَبَسَّمَ تَبَسُّمَ الْمُغْضَبِ، ثُمَّ قَالَ لِي: تَعَالَهْ، فَجِئْتُ أَمْشِي، حَتَّى جَلَسْتُ بَيْنَ يَدَيْهِ، فَقَالَ لِي: مَا خَلَّفَكَ ؟ أَلَمْ تَكُنْ ابْتَعْتُ ظَهْرَكَ ؟ قَالَ: قُلْتُ: إنِّي يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ، وَاَللَّهِ لَوْ جَلَسْتُ عِنْدَ غَيْرِكَ مِنْ أَهْلِ الدُّنْيَا، لَرَأَيْتُ أَنِّي سَأَخْرُجُ مِنْ سَخَطِهِ بِعُذْرِ، وَلَقَدْ أُعْطِيتُ جَدَلًا، وَلَكِنْ وَاَللَّهِ لَقَدْ عَلِمْتُ لَئِنْ حَدَّثْتُكَ الْيَوْمَ حَدِيثًا كَذِبًا لَتَرْضِيَنَّ عَنِّي، وَلَيُوشِكَنَّ اللَّهُ أَنْ يُسْخِطَكَ عَلَيَّ، وَلَئِنْ حَدَّثْتُكَ حَدِيثًا صِدْقًا تَجِدُ عَلَيَّ فِيهِ، إنِّي لَأَرْجُو عُقْبَايَ مِنْ اللَّهِ فِيهِ، وَلَا وَاَللَّهِ مَا كَانَ لِي عُذْرٌ، وَاَللَّهِ مَا كُنْتُ قَطُّ أَقْوَى وَلَا أَيْسَرَ مِنِّي حِينَ تَخَلَّفْتُ عَنْكَ. فَقَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ﷺ: أَمَّا هَذَا فَقَدْ صَدَقْتُ فِيهِ، فَقُمْ حَتَّى يَقْضِيَ اللَّهُ فِيكَ. فَقُمْتُ، وَثَارَ مَعِي رِجَالٌ مِنْ بَنِي سَلِمَةَ، فَاتَّبَعُونِي فَقَالُوا لِي: وَاَللَّهِ مَا عَلِمْنَاكَ كُنْتَ أَذْنَبْتُ ذَنْبًا قَبْلَ هَذَا، وَلَقَدْ عَجَزْتَ أَنْ لَا تَكُونَ اعْتَذَرْتُ إلَى رَسُولِ اللَّهِ ﷺ بِمَا اعْتَذَرَ بِهِ إلَيْهِ الْمُخَلَّفُونَ، قَدْ كَانَ كَافِيكَ ذَنْبُكَ اسْتِغْفَارُ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ ﷺ لَكَ فَوَاَللَّهِ مَا زَالُوا بِي حَتَّى أَرَدْتُ أَنْ أَرْجِعَ إلَى رَسُولِ اللَّهِ ﷺ، فَأُكَذِّبُ نَفْسِي، ثُمَّ قُلْتُ لَهُمْ: هَلْ لَقَى هَذَا أَحَدٌ غَيْرِي ؟ قَالُوا: نَعَمْ، رَجُلَانِ قَالَا مِثْلَ مَقَالَتِكَ، وَقِيلَ لَهُمَا مِثْلَ مَا قِيلَ لَكَ؛ قُلْتُ: مَنْ هُمَا ؟ قَالُوا: مُرَارَةُ بْنُ الرَّبِيعِ العَمْرِيُّ، مِنْ بَنِي عَمْرِو بْنِ عَوْفٍ، وَهِلَالُ بْنُ ( أَبِي ) أُمَيَّةَ الْوَاقِفِيَّ؛ فَذَكَرُوا لِي رَجُلَيْنِ صَالِحَيْنِ، فِيهِمَا أُسْوَةٌ، فَصَمَتُّ حِينَ ذَكَرُوهُمَا لِي، وَنَهَى رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ﷺ عَنْ كَلَامِنَا أَيُّهَا الثَّلَاثَةُ، مِنْ بَيْنِ مَنْ تَخَلَّفَ عَنْهُ، فَاجْتَنَبَنَا النَّاسُ، وَتَغَيَّرُوا لَنَا، حَتَّى تَنَكَّرَتْ لِي نَفْسِي وَالْأَرْضُ، فَمَا هِيَ بِالْأَرْضِ الَّتِي كُنْتُ أَعْرِفُ، فَلَبِثْنَا عَلَى ذَلِكَ خَمْسِينَ لَيْلَةً، فَأَمَّا صَاحِبَايَ فَاسْتَكَانَا، وَقَعَدَا فِي بُيُوتِهِمَا، وَأَمَّا أَنَا فَكُنْتُ أَشَبَّ الْقَوْمِ وَأَجْلَدَهُمْ، فَكُنْتُ أَخْرُجُ، وَأَشْهَدُ الصَّلَوَاتِ مَعَ الْمُسْلِمِينَ، وَأَطُوفُ بِالْأَسْوَاقِ، وَلَا يُكَلِّمُنِي أَحَدٌ، وَآتِي رَسُولَ اللَّهِ ﷺ، فَأُسَلِّمُ عَلَيْهِ وَهُوَ فِي مَجْلِسِهِ بَعْدَ الصَّلَاةِ، فَأَقُولُ فِي نَفْسِي، هَلْ حَرَّكَ شَفَتَيْهِ بِرَدِّ السَّلَامِ عَلَيَّ أَمْ لَا ؟ ثُمَّ أُصَلِّي قَرِيبًا مِنْهُ، فَأُسَارِقُهُ النَّظَرَ، فَإِذَا أَقْبَلْتُ عَلَى صَلَاتِي نَظَرَ إلَيَّ، وَإِذَا الْتَفَتُّ نَحْوَهُ أَعْرَضَ عَنِّي، حَتَّى إذَا طَالَ ذَلِكَ عَلَيَّ مِنْ جَفْوَةِ الْمُسْلِمِينَ، مَشَيْتُ حَتَّى تَسَوَّرْتُ جِدَارَ حَائِطِ أَبِي قَتَادَةَ. وَهُوَ ابْنُ عَمِّي، وَأَحَبُّ النَّاسِ إلَيَّ، فَسَلَّمْتُ عَلَيْهِ، فَوَاَللَّهِ مَا رَدَّ عَلَيَّ السَّلَامَ، فَقُلْتُ: يَا أَبَا قَتَادَةَ، أَنْشُدُكَ بِاَللَّهِ، هَلْ تَعْلَمُ أَنِّي أُحِبُّ اللَّهَ وَرَسُولَهُ ؟ فَسَكَتَ. فَعُدْتُ فَنَاشَدْتُهُ، فَسَكَتَ عَنِّي، فَعُدْتُ فَنَاشَدْتُهُ، فَسَكَتَ عَنِّي، فَعُدْتُ فَنَاشَدْتُهُ، فَقَالَ: اللَّهُ وَرَسُولُهُ أَعْلَمُ، فَفَاضَتْ عَيْنَايَ، وَوَثَبْتُ فَتَسَوَّرْتُ الْحَائِطَ، ثُمَّ غَدَوْتُ إلَى السُّوقِ، فَبَيْنَا أَنَا أَمْشِي بِالسُّوقِ، إذَا نَبَطِيٌّ يَسْأَلُ عَنِّي مِنْ نَبَطِ الشَّامِ، مِمَّنْ قَدِمَ بِالطَّعَامِ يَبِيعُهُ بِالْمَدِينَةِ، يَقُولُ: مَنْ يَدُلُّ عَلَيَّ كَعْبَ بْنَ مَالِكٍ ؟ قَالَ: فَجَعَلَ النَّاسُ يُشِيرُونَ لَهُ إلَيَّ، حَتَّى جَاءَنِي، فَدَفَعَ إلَيَّ كِتَابًا مِنْ مَلِكِ غَسَّانَ، وَكَتَبَ كِتَابًا فِي سَرَقَةٍ مِنْ حَرِيرٍ، فَإِذَا فِيهِ: أَمَّا بَعْدُ، فَإِنَّهُ قَدْ بَلَغَنَا أَنَّ صَاحِبَكَ قَدْ جَفَاكَ، وَلَمْ يَجْعَلْكَ اللَّهُ بِدَارِ هَوَانٍ وَلَا مَضْيَعَةٍ، فَالْحَقْ بِنَا نُوَاسِكَ. قَالَ: قُلْتُ حِينَ قَرَأْتهَا: وَهَذَا مِنْ الْبَلَاءِ أَيْضًا، قَدْ بَلَغَ بِي مَا وَقَعْتُ فِيهِ أَنْ طَمِعَ فِيَّ رَجُلٌ مِنْ أَهْلِ الشِّرْكِ. قَالَ: فَعَمَدْتُ بِهَا إلَى تَنُّورٍ، فَسَجَرْتُهُ بِهَا. فَأَقَمْنَا عَلَى ذَلِكَ حَتَّى إذَا مَضَتْ أَرْبَعُونَ لَيْلَةً مِنْ الْخَمْسِينَ إذَا رَسُولُ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ يَأْتِينِي، فَقَالَ: إنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ ﷺ يَأْمُرُكَ أَنْ تَعْتَزِلَ امْرَأَتَكَ، قَالَ: قُلْتُ: أُطَلِّقُهَا أَمْ مَاذَا، قَالَ: لَا، بَلْ اعْتَزِلْهَا وَلَا تَقْرَبْهَا، وَأَرْسَلَ إلَيَّ صَاحِبِي بِمِثْلِ ذَلِكَ، فَقُلْتُ لِامْرَأَتِي: الْحَقِي بِأَهْلِكَ، فَكُونِي عِنْدَهُمْ حَتَّى يَقْضِي اللَّهُ فِي هَذَا الْأَمْرِ مَا هُوَ قَاضٍ. قَالَ: وَجَاءَتْ امْرَأَةُ هِلَالِ بْنِ أُمَيَّةَ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ ﷺ، فَقَالَتْ: يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ، إنَّ هِلَالَ بْنَ أُمَيَّةَ شَيْخٌ كَبِيرٌ ضَائِعٌ لَا خَادِمَ لَهُ، أَفَتَكْرَهُ أَنْ أَخْدِمَهُ ؟ قَالَ: لَا، وَلَكِنْ لَا يَقْرَبَنَّكِ؛ قَالَتْ: وَاَللَّهِ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ مَا بِهِ مِنْ حَرَكَةٍ إلَيَّ، وَاَللَّهِ مَا زَالَ يَبْكِي مُنْذُ كَانَ مِنْ أَمْرِهِ مَا كَانَ إلَى يَوْمهِ هَذَا، وَلَقَدْ تَخَوَّفَتْ عَلَى بَصَرِهِ. قَالَ: فَقَالَ لِي بَعْضُ أَهْلِي: لَوْ اسْتَأْذَنْتُ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ لِامْرَأَتِكَ، فَقَدْ أَذِنَ لِامْرَأَةِ هِلَالِ بْنِ أُمَيَّةَ أَنْ تَخْدُمَهُ؛ قَالَ: فَقُلْتُ: وَاَللَّهِ لَا اْسَتَأْذِنُهُ فِيهَا، مَا أَدْرِي مَا يَقُولُ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ﷺ لِي فِي ذَلِكَ إذَا اسْتَأْذَنْتُهُ فِيهَا، وَأَنَا رَجُلٌ شَابٌّ. قَالَ: فَلَبِثْنَا بَعْدَ ذَلِكَ عَشْرَ لَيَالٍ، فَكَمُلَ لَنَا خَمْسُونَ لَيْلَةً، مِنْ حِينِ نَهَى رَسُولِ اللَّهِ ﷺ الْمُسْلِمِينَ عَنْ كَلَامِنَا، ثُمَّ صَلَّيْتُ الصُّبْحَ، صُبْحَ خَمْسِينَ لَيْلَةً، عَلَى ظَهْرِ بَيْتٍ مِنْ بُيُوتِنَا، عَلَى الْحَالِ الَّتِي ذَكَرَ اللَّهُ مِنَّا، قَدْ ضَاقَتْ عَلَيْنَا الْأَرْضُ بِمَا رَحُبَتْ، وَضَاقَتْ عَلَيَّ نَفْسِي، وَقَدْ كُنْتُ ابْتَنَيْتُ خَيْمَةً فِي ظَهْرِ سَلْعٍ، فَكُنْتُ أَكُونُ فِيهَا إذْ سَمِعْتُ صَوْتَ صَارِخٍ أَوْفَى عَلَى ظَهْرِ سَلْعٍ يَقُولُ بِأَعْلَى صَوْتِهِ: يَا كَعْبُ بْنَ مَالِكٍ، أَبْشِرْ، قَالَ: فَخَرَرْتُ سَاجِدًا، وَعَرَفْتُ أَنْ قَدْ جَاءَ الْفَرَجُ
Translation
✧ Kaʿb's report about his staying behind Ibn Isḥāq said: Al-Zuhrī, Muḥammad b. Muslim b. Shihāb, mentioned from ʿAbd al-Raḥmān b. ʿAbd Allāh b. Kaʿb b. Mālik, that his father ʿAbd Allāh—who was his father's guide after he lost his sight—said: I heard my father, Kaʿb b. Mālik, narrating his account when he stayed behind from the Messenger of God ﷺ in the expedition of Tabūk, and the account of his two companions. He said: I never stayed behind from the Messenger of God ﷺ in any expedition he undertook, except that I had stayed behind from him in the expedition of Badr. That was an expedition in which God did not censure, nor did His Messenger, anyone who stayed behind. That is because the Messenger of God ﷺ had gone out intending only the caravan of Quraysh, until God brought him and his enemy together without an appointment. I was present with the Messenger of God ﷺ at al-ʿAqabah when we pledged ourselves to Islam, and I would not love to have in exchange for it the witness of Badr, even though the expedition of Badr is more renowned among the people than it. He said: Part of my story when I stayed behind from the Messenger of God ﷺ in the expedition of Tabūk is that I was never stronger or more affluent than when I stayed behind from him in that expedition. By God, I never had two riding camels together until they came together for me in that expedition. The Messenger of God ﷺ rarely intended an expedition he was about to undertake without disguising it with another, until that expedition. The Messenger of God ﷺ undertook it in intense heat, faced a long journey, and faced an expedition against a numerous enemy. He made their affair clear to the people so they could prepare for it, and he informed them of his intended direction. The Muslims who followed the Messenger of God ﷺ were many, and no register containing them—meaning the dīwān—could gather them. He said: No dīwān written down gathered them. Kaʿb said: Few men wanted to stay absent without thinking that it would be hidden for him, as long as no revelation from God came down about him. The Messenger of God ﷺ undertook that expedition when the fruits were ripe and shade was beloved, and the people inclined toward them. The Messenger of God ﷺ made ready, and the Muslims made ready with him. I began to go out to prepare with them, then I would return without having accomplished anything. I said to myself: I am able to do that whenever I wish. This continued with me until the people hastened seriously. The Messenger of God ﷺ set out in the morning, and the Muslims with him, and I had not prepared any of my equipment. I said: I will prepare a day or two after him, then catch up with them. I went out after they had departed to prepare, but I returned without accomplishing anything. Then I went out and returned without accomplishing anything. This continued with me until they hurried on and the expedition was far ahead. I resolved to mount and catch up with them—would that I had done so—but I did not. When I went out among the people after the departure of the Messenger of God ﷺ and walked among them, it grieved me that I saw no one except a man suspected of hypocrisy or a man among those whom God had excused among the weak. The Messenger of God ﷺ did not mention me until he reached Tabūk. While sitting among the people at Tabūk he said: What has Kaʿb b. Mālik done? A man from Banū Salimah said: O Messenger of God, his two cloaks and his self-admiration have detained him. Muʿādh b. Jabal said to him: What a bad thing you have said! By God, O Messenger of God, we know nothing of him but good. The Messenger of God ﷺ remained silent. When it reached me that the Messenger of God ﷺ had turned back from Tabūk, my distress came upon me. I began to think of lies and say: With what can I emerge tomorrow from the displeasure of the Messenger of God ﷺ? I sought the help of every thoughtful person of my family in that. When it was said that the Messenger of God ﷺ was near arriving, falsehood left me, and I knew that I would not be saved from it except by truthfulness. I resolved to tell him the truth. The Messenger of God ﷺ arrived in Madinah in the morning. When he returned from a journey, he would begin with the mosque, praying two rakʿahs in it, then sit for the people. When he did that, those who had stayed behind came to him, swearing oaths and making excuses. They were eighty-some men. The Messenger of God ﷺ accepted from them their outward professions and their oaths, sought forgiveness for them, and entrusted their secrets to God Almighty. Then I came and greeted him. He smiled the smile of one angry, then said to me: Come here. I came walking until I sat before him. He said to me: What kept you back? Had you not purchased your mount? He said: I said: O Messenger of God, by God, if I were sitting before anyone other than you among the people of this world, I would think that I could escape his displeasure with an excuse. I have been given skill in argument. But by God, I know that if I tell you today a false account, you will be pleased with me, but God will soon make you angry with me. And if I tell you a true account, you will be vexed with me in it, but I hope for a good outcome from God in it. By God, I have no excuse. By God, I was never stronger or more affluent than when I stayed behind from you. The Messenger of God ﷺ said: As for this one, he has spoken the truth. Arise until God decides concerning you. I arose, and men from Banū Salimah got up with me and followed me. They said to me: By God, we never knew you to have committed any sin before this. You were unable to excuse yourself to the Messenger of God ﷺ as the others who stayed behind excused themselves. The Messenger of God's ﷺ seeking forgiveness for you would have sufficed for your sin. By God, they kept at me until I wanted to return to the Messenger of God ﷺ and give myself the lie. Then I said to them: Has anyone else met with this besides me? They said: Yes, two men who said the like of what you said, and to whom the like of what was said to you was said. I said: Who are they? They said: Murārah b. al-Rabīʿ al-ʿAmrī of Banū ʿAmr b. ʿAwf, and Hilāl b. Abī Umayyah al-Wāqifī. They mentioned to me two righteous men in whom there was an example. I fell silent when they mentioned them to me. The Messenger of God ﷺ forbade speaking to us, the three, from among those who had stayed behind. The people avoided us and changed toward us, until even myself and the land seemed strange to me. It was not the land I had known. We remained thus for fifty nights. My two companions gave in and sat in their houses. As for me, I was the youngest and strongest of the people, so I went out, attended the prayers with the Muslims, and walked in the markets, but no one spoke to me. I came to the Messenger of God ﷺ and greeted him while he was in his assembly after prayer, and I said to myself: Did he move his lips to return the greeting or not? Then I prayed near him and stole glances at him. When I turned to my prayer, he looked at me, and when I turned toward him, he turned away from me. When the alienation of the Muslims had lasted long for me, I walked until I climbed over the wall of the garden of Abū Qatādah. He was my cousin and the dearest of people to me. I greeted him, and by God, he did not return my greeting. I said: O Abū Qatādah, I adjure you by God, do you know that I love God and His Messenger? He was silent. I repeated my adjuration, and he was silent. I repeated my adjuration, and he was silent. I repeated my adjuration, and he said: God and His Messenger know best. My eyes overflowed, and I jumped up and climbed over the wall. Then I went to the market. While I was walking in the market, a Nabataean from the Nabataeans of Syria, one of those who had brought food to sell in Madinah, was asking about me, saying: Who will point out to me Kaʿb b. Mālik? He said: The people began pointing me out to him until he came to me and handed me a letter from the king of Ghassān. He had written it on a piece of silk. In it was: To proceed: It has reached us that your companion has treated you harshly. God has not placed you in a house of humiliation or waste. Join us and we will console you. He said: I said when I read it: This too is part of the trial. It has come to the point with me that a man of the polytheists hopes to win me over. He said: I took it to an oven and kindled the oven with it. We remained thus until forty nights of the fifty had passed, when a messenger of the Messenger of God came to me and said: The Messenger of God ﷺ commands you to keep away from your wife. He said: I said: Shall I divorce her, or what? He said: No, but keep away from her and do not approach her. He sent to my two companions the like of that. I said to my wife: Join your family and stay with them until God decides in this matter what He will decide. He said: The wife of Hilāl b. Umayyah came to the Messenger of God ﷺ and said: O Messenger of God, Hilāl b. Umayyah is an old man, wasting away, with no servant. Would you dislike my serving him? He said: No, but let him not approach you. She said: By God, O Messenger of God, he has no movement toward me at all. By God, he has not ceased weeping since his affair began until this very day, and I fear for his eyesight. He said: Some of my family said to me: If only you would ask the Messenger of God's permission for your wife, for he has permitted the wife of Hilāl b. Umayyah to serve him. I said: By God, I will not ask his permission concerning her. I do not know what the Messenger of God ﷺ would say to me about that if I asked him, and I am a young man. He said: We remained after that ten nights, and fifty nights were completed for us from the time the Messenger of God ﷺ forbade the Muslims to speak to us. Then I prayed the dawn prayer, the dawn of the fiftieth night, on the roof of one of our houses, in the state God mentioned of us: the earth had become straitened for us despite its vastness, and my own self had become straitened for me. I had built a tent on the slope of Salʿ, and I was in it when I heard the voice of a crier who had climbed to the top of Salʿ, saying at the top of his voice: O Kaʿb b. Mālik, rejoice! He said: I fell prostrate and knew that relief had come.
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